Midlife | Life with Essie B.

I Own My Health Journey. Period.

I’ve been thinking a lot about ownership.

Not the trendy kind. Not the “everybody on TikTok doing it so now I’m doing it” kind.

I mean real ownership. Of my health. Of my body. Of my mind. Of my spirit.

Because if I’m being honest, a lot of what’s missing in health and wellness conversations is agency.

It’s always:
You should do this.
You shouldn’t do that.
That’s dangerous.
That’s the only way.

But rarely do we talk about process. About asking questions. About understanding what’s happening in your own body and deciding how you want to respond.

For me, that’s what this wellness journey is all about.

It’s Not Either/Or

I’m not anti-doctor.
I go to my annual physicals and follow ups.
I take my ADHD meds and see the difference it can make.
I believe in pharmaceutical medicine that’s been developed and tested.

And I also believe in the assistance of peptides.
And supplements.
And lab work. Whether through a Doctor or on my own.

And paying attention to patterns.
And adjusting lifestyle.
And using tools strategically.

All of it can coexist.

It doesn’t have to be one camp versus the other. That’s just silly to me.

Health is a puzzle. And I refuse to pretend one piece is the whole picture.

Accountability Feels Different Than Fear

I don’t talk about what I use because I think I’m a guru.

I talk about it because I believe in accountability.

I want to understand why I feel the way I feel.
I want to see my labs.
I want to track patterns.
I want to ask, “Is this working?”
And if it’s not? I pivot.

That’s ownership.

Not rebellion. Not ego. Not trying to outsmart medicine.

Partnership.

Informed partnership.

This Is Bigger Than Me

Working through this with my son made it even more real.

He’s a teenager. On the spectrum. Dealing with vitamin D deficiency that’s showing up in his A1C.

I don’t just want to manage his health for him.

I want him to grow into someone who can say:
“I don’t like how I feel.”
“Something feels off.”
“What can I adjust?”

That’s power.

Especially for our kids.
Especially for Black kids.
Especially for boys who aren’t always encouraged to articulate what’s happening internally.

Ownership is a definite form of self-trust.

And Yes, It Matters That I Look Like Me

I also talk about this because someone who looks like me should be visible in these conversations.

We’re often told what to do with our bodies.
We’re often dismissed.
We’re often under-informed.
We’re often over-prescribed.
We’re often under-heard.

So yes, I’m going to ask questions.
Yes, I’m going to explore options.
Yes, I’m going to use peptides and prescriptions if needed.
And, Yes, I’m going to advocate.

Because my health is not a trend.
It’s not content.
It’s not rebellion.

It’s responsibility.

That’s my why.

I Didn’t Believe But Now I Do: My Peptide Origin Arc

Posted on February 17 by EssieB

I started my journey into peptides aka “peppers” in March 2025, March 1st to be exact. It was after a conversation with my eldest sister at Christmas about her starting her journey on Ozempic aka “Ozzy”. She said her doctor had told her she needed it and how it would help her insulin resistance. I was just listening and open to change at that time. Even though I was taking my thyroid meds as directed, I was still floundering and in pain.

I was against any weight loss meds initially. When the commercials came out, it didn’t help me see the medicines as a choice. Also, all the media references and negative spins on who was on it and who wasn’t were in my mind too. Add to that I had tried losing weight naturally by diet and walking as I had done in my younger years, way before my hormones/organ betrayed me. Then, hearing of “Ozempic” face as a constant thing on blogs and in the news; it definitely molded and shaped my objective stance. But once I started talking to my big sis and heard her thoughts, it opened my mind to do more research.

My research led to me talking to my endo; who previously had recommended weight loss drugs and was happy to do a recommendation for it through insurance at that time. By this appointment though, when I was comfortable asking for the medicine, insurance wasn’t approving anyone for coverage and co-pays🙃. That led to me having to find a way to self pay and get it myself. After going to the direct source of the meds by way of big pharma/ patent holder company, I was able to find out I could pay out of my own pockets monthly if my doctor ordered it directly through them. Ordering the meds directly was a learning curve for both my doctor and myself but I managed to get on Zepbound but I’m calling it “Jetbound”.

Let me back up on what I chose and why. I researched “Ozzy” and I also researched “Jetbound”. Ozzy works on one pathway in our body while Jet works on two. “Why choose one way when I can take two” was my line of thinking and so I chose Jet.

Getting more into the science stuff and remembering my chemistry from 10th grade, it threw me into learning and expanding my medical layman’s knowledge. This helped me to advocate for myself with my primary and my endo.

Here’s where things shifted:

I was swinging the costs until I just couldn’t. Originally, I had to rob Peter to pay Paul for my monthly starting doses. I am extremely active on Reddit. It’s where I first stumbled across the name brand’s subreddit. From there and after reading a lot on that board, if I remember correctly, I then went to Tirzepatide aka “Trizzy” Compound boards.

After that, I was off to the races!

I made a bunch of silly decisions or mistakes and will detail that another day but I wouldn’t trade the journey for nothing!

When I say I took photos on first dose day as well as my weight, I was shocked and surprised by what I looked like and weighed. [Insert pics of that day & my starting weight].

It was the heaviest I have ever measured myself and I was struggling. I actually lost a few pounds right before but it just wasn’t enough. Not to mention I was inflamed, bloated and in all types of aching pain. My thyroid was fighting me and it was winning. Or, rather my body was fighting with itself and it was not a lovely feeling. After taking the first shot, it might have been a placebo effect but my joints in my hands felt so much better. I could open and close them without my hands locking up. It had gotten to the point where I couldn’t braid or twist my hair any longer. Also, my arms had on and off feelings of pins and needles, most of the time. I was only 40! Not to mention my insulin resistance and how prediabetes was affecting my whole body. From my eyesight being the worst it has ever been in my life due to sugar. Add to that mysterious bruises appearing on my body, and my cuts not healing as quick as they used to. I was just ready for change and this did it.

Has this ride been smooth sailing? Heck nope! I started March 1st and went on a girls trip in mid-April. Guess who learned the hardest way alcohol won’t mix with these meds? This girlie🙋🏾‍♀️. Had a day or so in my room enjoying the porcelain throne a lot more than I should have been in Jamaica. 🙃🤪

I have had plenty more slip ups or learning lessons but won’t give them all away in one post because then, what else would you tune back in for? 😏😉

So stay tuned, because I have so much more to say and share about my journey so far. Especially for folks who look like me🫶🏾. I am ready to share and know I’m not the only woman, momma who wants to feel better but may not know where to turn.

I’ve sustained my Temple. Are you ready to sustain yours?

Love Essie B in DC

To Future Me at 50: A Decade of Purpose, Lessons, and Resilience

Posted on April 13, 2025 by EssieB

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

To my future self, the woman who has reached the milestone of 50 in (what will be) 2035:

As I sit here in the spring of 2025, 40-year-old navigating the beautiful chaos of life in Southeast DC and DC in general; juggling motherhood to three incredible young men in training; the pursuit of my education with dreams of law school, and the ever-present hum of neurodiversity, I look ahead to you with a sense of hopeful anticipation.

I see us, future me, walking even more deeply into our purpose. The seeds of that purpose, nurtured through late nights studying after the kids are asleep, fueled by a desire for justice and understanding cultivated in my liberal arts journey, will have blossomed. Perhaps you are indeed an attorney, advocating for others with the tenacity I know you possess. Or maybe your path has taken an unexpected, yet equally fulfilling turn, still guided by that inner compass pointing towards meaningful contribution. Your past experience as a small business owner/notary public – a testament to your responsibility and attention to detail – will have undoubtedly informed your professional journey in valuable ways.

I see us leaning even more profoundly into the hard-won lessons of our 20s and 30s. Those years of navigating divorce, raising my children, and the constant balancing act of personal aspirations and familial responsibilities will have forged an inner strength and wisdom that guides your decisions. Even these current 40s, with their own unique set of challenges – perhaps the ongoing management of my ADHD and other conditions, the evolving dynamics of raising teenagers, and the personal weight loss journey – hold lessons yet to be fully understood. But I have faith that you, future me, will have met those challenges head-on, learned from them, and owned those lessons with the same resilience that has carried us this far.

This next decade, the one leading to you, feels pregnant with possibility. I envision significant accomplishments – perhaps academic milestones achieved, professional goals realized, and personal growth that continues to surprise and delight us. The drive that led me back to school, the ambition to pursue a challenging career change, the unwavering love for our sons – these forces will propel us forward.

And through it all, the underlying truth remains: no matter what joys or hardships this next decade brings, good or bad, we will survive it, the Lord willing. We are survivors. We are mothers. We are learners. We are resilient. The spirit that allowed me to navigate the complexities of life in my 30s, that fuels my current endeavors, will undoubtedly continue to sustain us. You, future me at 50, are a testament to that enduring strength.

I look forward to meeting you in the years to come, eager to witness the woman we have become.

With love and anticipation,

Me (at 41)