Life with EssieB

Y’all know how life can feel, right? Like we’re constantly on a treadmill, chasing some finish line that seems to keep moving. The world screams “faster! quicker! more!” and it’s easy to get caught up in that frantic dash for instant gratification, for that “overnight success” we see plastered everywhere. But if there’s one profound truth I’ve learned, it’s this: “Life is a marathon and not a sprint. It takes stamina and patience to endure.”
And let me tell you, this isn’t just a catchy phrase I picked up somewhere. This is the compass I live by every single day. It helps me breathe when I’m not where I want to be yet. It reminds me that progress isn’t always a giant leap, but often a series of small, determined steps. It means seeing the blessing in every tiny bit of forward motion instead of kicking myself, or sinking into despair, when I feel “behind” or find myself peeking over at someone else’s seemingly perfect journey. This perspective has been my anchor, allowing me to celebrate the unfolding of my own story, at my own pace.

The Unshakeable Power of Demanding What I Deserve
There comes a point, doesn’t there, when you just get tired of begging? Tired of pleading for what should be freely given. For me, that pivotal moment arrived when I was living a life that felt incredibly lonely, even when I wasn’t alone. I was in my former marriage, physically present but emotionally distant, and the truth is, it wasn’t a healthy or thriving space for me, for our kids, or even for him. I won’t dive into all the granular details, because as we know, there are two sides to every story, and then there’s the truth, which is often a unique blend of both.
But what emerged from that experience was a fierce, unwavering conviction: “I no longer beg for honesty or the truth. I demand it or I give you the absence of my presence.” This isn’t about being mean or manipulative; it’s about self-preservation and an absolute commitment to living an authentic, transparent life, complete with firm boundaries. If a situation, a relationship, or even a dynamic isn’t serving me or anyone involved, especially when I’m consistently framed as the problem or issue, then I have to remove myself. It’s a powerful act of self-respect, declaring that my peace and well-being are simply non-negotiable. It’s choosing spaces where genuine connection can flourish, where truth is honored, and where I can unapologetically show up as my whole self.

Love in Its Truest Form: First the Lord, Then Self

This entire journey of self-discovery, of finding my voice and my strength, has been so profoundly intertwined with my faith. Learning to put my love for the Lord first and foremost has been the absolute bedrock upon which everything else has been built. It began with truly seeking Him, getting to know His heart, and then diving deep into His Word. And y’all, what I discovered there? It changed everything.

I learned and saw what He had to say about me in His word, and that helped me to see myself through His eyes. To truly understand and appreciate and love myself as He loves me. That understanding, that unconditional divine love, allowed me to start accepting better – if not the best – for myself. And it’s a daily practice, something I have to be more intentional about every single day, especially as I look to the remainder of 2025.

I also learned, in examining His love and His words, that He gives us free will. He provides us with knowledge and choices, but He doesn’t make us choose Him. That profound truth has revolutionized how I approach my own life and my relationships. I’ve learned to step back from a lot of the controlling tactics I used to have, the ones I’d picked up along the way. And let me tell you, living that way, trusting in His greater plan and allowing space for others to choose their own paths, has made my life so much better, richer, and filled with a peace I didn’t know was possible.

Cultivating Community and Embracing Your Unique Journey

My heart’s desire, in sharing all of this with you, is to inspire you to look at your own journey with fresh eyes. To truly embrace the marathon, to courageously demand the truth in every corner of your life, and to discover the powerful, transformative connection between your faith and your self-worth.

For all my fellow moms out there, especially my beautiful Black mommas, know this: I see you. I hear you. I’m pouring my energy into growing and cultivating a community for us, a space where we can share our truths, uplift each other, and simply be in these wild times we’re living in. We deserve to thrive, to be seen, to be heard, and to be celebrated.

Now, I want to hear from you. What have you learned in this stage of your life’s marathon?

Please share your reflections and join this incredible community we’re building.